My name is Anonymous and I’m a SURVIVOR.
My name is Anonymous and I’m a survivor. Throughout my childhood into my early adulthood, I experienced a lot of trauma. I was sexually abused. I witnessed violence and abuse to loved ones. I lost a sibling. I was a victim of human trafficking and I was sexually assaulted multiple times. It took me years to realize just how much all of these experiences affected me. They affected my mental health, my physical health, my beliefs, my self esteem, my self image, my relationships, and so much more. The trauma I experienced seeped into every part of my life and grabbed hold of me. I attempted suicide for the first time at the age of sixteen and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety, and Depression. I didn’t know how to cope with everything I had been through or the mental health symptoms I was experiencing and I made a lot of bad decisions trying to figure it out. Oprah Winfrey once said, “Why are you where you are in your life? The choices that you have made have been because of what you believe to be true for yourself”. For a long time, I felt worthless, ashamed, guilty, disgusting, dirty, unlovable, undeserving of happiness, and didn’t know whether or not my life was worth living. I made choices based upon those beliefs and feelings. I chose to abuse substances; I chose to put myself in dangerous and risky situations; I chose to prostitute; I chose to self harm; I chose relationships and people that hurt me. My decisions led to more trauma which I dealt with by continuing to use negative coping skills. I became caught in a vicious, dangerous, painful cycle. I was a victim, but I am a survivor.
In the past couple years, I have worked hard at recovering from my trauma; I have began to heal. I started receiving trauma focused services and started working with different professionals who have helped me begin to process my trauma and heal the symptoms of my trauma. They helped me make the choice to stop being a victim to my trauma and become a survivor of my trauma. I am proud of how far I have come. I have also found a new relationship with God. I had lost my faith, but I now know that God didn’t allow people to hurt me. He carried me when I didn’t have the strength to keep going, he led me to love that doesn’t hurt and to recovery. A couple years ago, I went back to school and this year I will graduate with my Bachelor’s in Social Work. Upon graduation, I will start my career in child welfare. I also am a survivor advocate and speaker for trauma recovery and the fight against human trafficking. My trauma recovery is by no means over. It is something I still continuously work on, but I have found purpose and I have hope. Above all, I have built a healthy life for myself and for my daughter who gave me the courage and strength to leave my past behind me.
I decided to start this blog in hopes that I can pass some of the knowledge I have acquired through my life experience, the trauma recovery services I have received, my education, and my work, to others. I hope that my journey can inspire others and help them with their own trauma recovery. I also want to let people know that it is okay to talk about trauma. Speaking up is one way we can choose to take power over our trauma and power away from those that inflicted it upon us. Our voices matter; our stories matter; we matter. Our scars are not something we need to hide; every scar has beauty and every scar is a testament to our strength. Above all, I want every survivor to know that no matter what you have been through, you still have the power and the choice to make your life into whatever you want it to be.
My name is Anonymous and I’m a Survivor.
Some of my Favorite Quotes
“Every experience God gives us, every person He puts into our lives, is the perfect preparation for a future only He can see.”-Corrie Tenn Boom
“God gives the hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.”-Unknown
“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.”-Unknown